


Considering the Cure

by Lonewritersclub



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batjokes, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, Mental Health Issues, batfam, medical talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 03:42:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14633349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lonewritersclub/pseuds/Lonewritersclub
Summary: Batman has to take some time off. It's time to let the others know why. If only Joker would stop wiggling around in his lap so much...





	Considering the Cure

Joker's eyes twitch. 

Then slowly a curve to his mouth forms up to his ear.

"Hah! You lost!" Dick's exclaims loudly and making his rascal voice echo in the vast space of the most lived in living room of the manor. Tim snorts. Bruce only turns a rustling page of Gotham Gazette. Joker groans.

“What are you – eight years old? That’s just stupid”, Damian berates them from behind his game console shining blue light over his sullen face. 

“No, but you are”, Dick retorts. Damian rolls his eyes at him mumbling _I’m fourteen_ under his breath but knowing it’s no use.

Joker crosses his arms over his chest with an exaggerated huff.

“It’s a staring contest! It’s serious business comprising of stakes and incentives making it hold in the face of court if required. Besides, this was no fair, you know how easily I laugh not to mention smile!”

Bruce sighs out, folding his paper to seat it beside him. He points a finger at Joker and curves it impatiently towards himself.

“Come here and quit your juvenile games. I have something to tell you all.”

Joker jumps up excitedly from the floor where they had held their contest and skids over to Bruce’s side – more like on his lap but Bruce tries to look past all the green hair in his face as he regards his family.

“What’s that?” Barbara asks looking over her shoulder from where she’s tending to the fire in the fireplace.

“Don’t tell me it’s another patrol night at the downtown district. You know barely anything happens around there and while I’m stuck scouting the freshly asphalted streets and doing window shopping you get to actually do something down at the docks or in the Narrows and bring in actual bad guys”, Tim complains already.

Bruce tries to brush some of the green strands from his line of vision but Joker keeps wiggling in his lap and starting to shuffle a pack of playing cards he always keeps with him somewhere in a very complex and obtrusive manner.

“ _Joker_ ”, Bruce tells him sternly and the pale face turns to him with an overstated offended expression. At least he stops with the flashy shuffling and resorts to playing solitaire on the side-table instead although it means leaning entirely over Bruce to do so.

Bruce tries to keep his own face neutral about it though it’s clearly a laughably ridiculous situation but they keep having them with Joker around. Barbara is evidently holding in a snicker. Damian just looks as annoyed as ever. Jason isn’t even listening to him, focusing on texting somebody.

Tim and Dick are plotting on a joke of some horrendous sort for later. Bruce clears his throat before continuing. Then he realizes what he’s supposed to say and he feels blood rushing to his cheeks.

“Alright, so what I needed to announce to, is that I’m not going to be in Gotham for five full days starting next Monday which means Batman will be off duty for nearly a week as well. That also means you are going to have to keep this town in check on your own without my immediate help.”

Bruce notices how excited everyone is starting to look in the room despite the overwhelming surprise to hearing that Batman is actually going to go away for a while. Bruce decides to put on a sterner expression. Automatically his grips on Joker waist also tightens and the man glances up at him grumbling underneath Bruce’s painful hold.

Bruce doesn’t meet the look. Joker can take it.

“Nonetheless, that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t still be in charge. You are going to report everything to me and keep me updated on what’s going on. If you don’t, I will make you. And if anything happens that you can’t handle on your own, you inform me _instantly_. I will alert people from the league or as the last option I’ll come here myself as soon as possible.”

He hears some groans from around the lounge and murmurs of _I knew it._ Bruce relents a little and holds Joker a bit gentler.

“However, I do also trust your abilities to take care of yourselves and this city and I doubt there will be need for me to return prematurely or call anyone from the league. I’m sure it’s going to feel different without me around, be that the feeling of more freedom or independence but it’s also going to put a lot more weight on your shoulders so be prepared for that. And more than anything, keep in mind that the rules will be still the same and I expect you to follow them. You look after each other and yourselves, stay safe and vigilant and everything is going to go fine.”

“Roger that!” Tim says with an army salute. Dick laughs next to him on the couch. Barbara on the other hand looks thoughtful as she walks over to Bruce where she has left her laptop.

“Alright, but are you going to tell us where are you going and why? You’ve never really taken time off of your duties as Batman before – at least not for this long. Are you finally taking everybody’s advice and going on a vacation?” she asks hopefully. Alfred who comes in with the evening tea smiles at Bruce as he places the tray on the coffee table in front of him.

“Are you taking the jet and leaving for the Bahamas? Because I heard there’s this really great fish dish with lemon sauce I think you should definitely try in case you’re…-“ Tim starts but Bruce cuts him off before he gets the wrong idea and begins to truly ramble.

“No, Tim, I’m not going to the Bahamas or on a holiday for that matter. J’s leaving too actually”, Bruce reveals looking over to the man in his arms hitting a dead-end his game of solitaire and having to resume it. 

While everyone else starts to look suspicious knowing intimately who the object of Bruce’s motivations is now, Alfred calmly takes a seat in the armchair beside Bruce having already discussed about the issue with Bruce a few days earlier. In fact, it was all his idea.

“See, there’s this facility in Switzerland where they have developed an entirely new form of treatment for mental illnesses using electrodes and magnetism which work together with the neurotransmitters and electric impulses to heal desired parts of the neuropsychological nature of the brain”, Bruce explains. Everyone’s sitting tight and quiet as they listen to Bruce’s steady voice carefully.

“It has had a high success rate with different kinds of patients – including people who have had symptoms similar to Joker’s. I contacted the doctor leading the treatments and asked if she thought it might help J and if he could actually be a participant of the treatment taking into consideration his background with the law.”

Alfred smiles at Bruce encouragingly.

“She was very polite about it but also very analytical. She said she couldn’t be sure if the treatment completely fits with what J needs but she also said it couldn’t do him any harm and that it’s worth a shot anyway considering that it still helps with a lot of different symptoms and can help with the variations of those things that Joker has. I’ve already scheduled the appointment.”

“How long does the treatment take? I mean, how does it take only five days? Are you going to leave him in Switzerland alone?” Barbara questions with a deep line between her brows.

Bruce shakes his head at her.

“It only takes a couple of sessions but a few days is spent in assessing which parts of the brain are going to be treated and how and then a couple of days to analyse the results. The doctor said five days will be plenty of time”, Bruce tells her reassuringly.

“And with any of the spare time we’ll have, we’re going to spend in amusement parks, drinking shots and smoking pot!” Joker says after he turns around to face everyone in Bruce’s lap.

“Or was weed legal in the Netherlands? Well, what the heck, we can still find ourselves a joint in Bern be that from another man’s ass. In fact I think I could get as some weed right now! I wonder if Crackerhead Jimbo’s in town…” Joker mutters to himself out loud tapping a finger against his chin.

“Enough, Joker. Whatever time we’ll have to spare, we’re spending it in the hospital. The facility is located in the mountains far away from all city disturbance and you are going to be needing that peace and good air quality to recover”, Bruce ripostes decisively.

Joker pouts childishly and looks over to the aged butler sitting in self-assured silence and sipping English tea.

“Alfred, say something, you can’t possibly let this madman just snatch me off to Switzerland on a whimsical idea of curing me brain and abandoning the unhinged town he protects in the meanwhile! It’s the job of a nutcase!” Joker exclaims throwing his hands into the air for dramatic effect. Bruce holds onto him for dear life so that Joker wouldn’t fall onto the floor from all wiggling around although he really should just drop him - Bruce’s thighs are beginning to go numb.

“I’m afraid Master Bruce does have a point. It’s worth a shot. Even if it might not be the ultimate cure, it might help you in some aspects. However, I do think the decision still lies in your hands, Master J. If you don’t want to go through with the treatment, then you shouldn’t have to. But if you do, then you have the full family’s support behind you, especially Master Bruce’s”, Alfred responds kindly with a sympathizing look.

A corner of a red lip tugs downwards for a second, thoughtfully, before Joker’s mouth falls into one of his usual grins.

“Well, like you said, if it helps me even a little, I guess it’s worth trying! If it’ll at least help me fall asleep even slightly quicker but at the same time not make me bedridden for two weeks straight, I think it’s a done deal! I barely slept wink last night despite how exhausted after little Batsy here was done with me!” Joker says patting Bruce’s knee and causing everyone in the room to cry out in from frustration from hearing excess information.

Joker merely laughs as always. Bruce lets him fall down onto the ground this time and Joker crashes on his behind with an “oomph”. He glares at Bruce from the floor rubbing at his bottom in pain. Bruce is not fazed by this nor is anyone else.

“Then it’s settled. We’ll leave Sunday night and will be back by Friday before nightfall. In the meantime, you’ll be taking care of the streets of Gotham. I’m sure you’ll do well and will be able to handle it but if anything at all comes up, you can and should call me instantly”, Bruce summarizes for one last time looking around the lounge while Joker sits himself down back into his lap. “Do have any questions or is everything absolutely clear?”

Dick raises a hand like a child in kindergarten obviously mocking him. Bruce tries not to sigh out and instead winds his arms around Joker’s waist, crumpling the loose black fabric – he’s wearing one of Bruce’s shirts again.

“Yes, Dick?” Bruce asks nicely nevertheless.

“Can we use the Batmobile during the patrols too or is that still off limits for us measly associates of the real Batman?” he asks with a cocked eyebrow. Expectation follows the question, filling the room with pressure only Bruce feels on his shoulders.

“I expect you to use it _providently_.”

The anticipation still hangs in the air as Dick continues to gaze at Bruce with an uncertain look. This time Bruce does sight out.

“But yes, you can use the Batmobile.”

Joker giggles under Bruce’s chin as cheers overwhelm the room. Alfred snickers to himself, hiding it behind a gloved hand. Even Bruce can’t fight back a smile seeing his family so happy. And when he sees the man in his eyes so healthily happy, he might as well forget the need for a trip to Switzerland altogether.

Joker looks up into Bruce’s eyes and Bruce brushes the strands of green back from his eyes. Tonight he’ll make sure they both get some sleep. Tonight Batman will come early to bed to take care of his clown – his _associates_ can train for the impending week in advance in the process, too.

They retire to their bedroom first and enjoy watching the moon glide up the star ladders in the sky.

Joker holds Bruce’s hand in both of his as they lie facing each other in the quiet dark.

“You really think this is going to be good for me?” he asks softly as not to break the barrier between the night and reality. Bruce smiles lightly at him.

“It can’t be bad for you”, he answers feeling a tad futile with his response but knowing there’s not much else he can say. They can both be only as sure about this as the doctor, or anyone for that matter, can be.

“With that being said, it can only be a good day for both us”, Bruce adds in retrospect with a smirk. Joker presses closer to him with a chuckle.

“Ah, just what we need. Just one good day…” he purrs against Bruce’s chest and Bruce holds him there well and steady.

In the background, if they want to, they can hear Dick still jumping in delight before rushing to the Batcave with the others. Alfred shouts after them, telling them to be careful in the steep stairs and not to drive too fast.

The clock ticks eleven. Joker eyes finally fall shut, but Batman decides to stay in bed. Just for a moment longer.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I don't know what this is but here it is. I just wanted to do something with the Batfam included although I barely know them that well. So yeah, probs a little OOC this one. But let me know how you liked it!


End file.
